Archive for May, 2010

Driving Tests – The most Nerve wrecking test of my life in 2004

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

I passed on the worst driving test I have ever taken!

I took 3 – the first one I missed a unmarked crossroads (I was in an area I didnt know), the second one – To this dayI have never driven better – but failed cost the examiner was still adjusting his mirror and blocked my view of the kerb and he thought I was to far away from it turning left.

The third one started really really well – The exhaust started to blow on the way to the exam, I thought great – got there and ran over a nail outside the test centre, so had to put the spare tyre on.. and it got worse! This was where the Suicidal Saph got her nickname from…

They ask you two questions at the start of the test, I will never forget them.

Q 1
Examiner: Please show me how you would check the power steering fluid level is at an acceptable level
Me: I cant
Examiner: Why Not?
Me: It doesnt have power steering
Examiner: Oh, How would you check if it had it.
Me – I explain.

Q 2
Examiner: Tell me how you would know if there was a
problem with your anti lock braking system
Me: It does not have ABS, but if it did have ABS it would be through a warning light on the dashboard.

At this point I was thinking today cant go anyworse….. I look like a cocky sod who is driving an old car with a blowing exhaust (Which he could have refused to take me on the test because of, but he was nice and let me take the test…) And then as if it couldnt get worse it did…..

I drove most of the test, a nevous wreck and making jokes about how some people would pay a fortune for an exhaust that sounded like this (Trying to likeable), at one point he asked me to come off the roundabout at the third exit, of which I went around the roundabout twice as I hadnt heard him due to the exhaust….

My two maneuvers went wrong – I touched the kerb both times, reverse around a corner and reverse park. Had to do an emergency stop (Unprompted) due to some kid running into the road and basically drove really badly. At the end of the test I am almost in peices and the guy asks me the question:

Examiner: Ok that is the examination over, how do you think you did?
Me (Now stuttering from nervous energy and disappointment): Awfully, I touched the kerb in both maneuvers, went around the roundabout twice and……. (Cut down to save my fingers)
Examiner: Yes that is true, Do you think today you were worth of passing the driving examination?
Me: Not a cat in hells chance.
Examiner: Today you have been successful in your driving examination
Me(disbelief): Are you having a joke??
Examiner: No, I dont joke about such matters, would you like to know why I passed you?
Me: Yes
Examiner: Whilst you may have made a number of mistakes on your test, you still drove with confidence, used your mirrors and did not pose a risk to other road users at any point. Now what is the first thing you are going to do once you leave the test centre?
Me: Buy a new exhaust!

With that he got out of the car, my mum got in the car and asked what happened – I told her somehow id passed – to this day I dont knwo why he passed me.

Day to day Life

Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Well a lot of people dont quite realise how a website developer will earn a living, let alone an Internet Marketing expert. Well for a long time I have been thinking of writing another work related post, however at the same time this is a personal blog about my modding and writing about work is not what it is for. However Rules are there to be broken….

Firstly I will start by discussing what a website developer will do to earn his living… and then go into the similarities between a website developer and a Internet Marketing expert. A website developer is the person who you will go to to make a change to your website, and reasonable guys can be found in the UK from as little as £15+vat an hour on a freelance basis. The usually specialise in a single specific programming language, PHP, .Net, ASP and may have other tricks up there sleeve such as Javascript and Flash. A web developer will often throw funky technological terms at you such as Ajax, jQuery and web 2.0.

However on the other hand you will find a good Internet Marketer will rarely cost less than £35+vat an hour. Yes more than double the cost of your web developer, But why the difference? Every change a Internet Marketer makes is carefully thought out, considered with the overall goal of providing you with more traffic and better sales. If we drill down into Internet Marketing further to an SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) Consultant, you are looking at a highly trained individual who has a background as a web developer, however rather than just specialising in one of the server technologies (PHP / .net / ASP) he specialises in all 3. Your SEO Internet Market is looking to improve the effectiveness of the code, using a number of tools at his disposal including measuring averaged page load times to a high amount of accuracy and improving the codebase. All of these changes are under the hood of your website.

The other skill an SEO has, without even considering what he is doing is to put keyword densities into the things he writes, for example in the 508words of this blog post, I have used the following keywords specifically on the whole page (includes meta).

SEO: 9 occasions
Internet Marketing: 10 occasions
Web Developer: 6 occasions
Website Developer: 7 occasions

Now I have had to check this manually after posting for the occurances on the POST page (not the general overview) and update the post – as its late and I have both my Internet Marketing and Website Developer duties in the morning.

Add this to the fact I have also used these keywords as the post tags, and written this post at 1:16am in the morning after a long day, you can see just how easy it is for a SEO to outrank a web developer at Internet Marketing. However I do have the advantage of a number of SEO tools over the web developer – and I am giving some of them away free at Web Developers Toolkit